Monday, April 17, 2017

My Family


Our family has been through a lot... and when I say a lot, that seems to fall short.
We've faced so many things in the 17 years that we've been married (as of next Saturday)
But nothing compares to how hard the past few years have been for us as an entire family.

We had no idea when we brought our now 14 year old daughter home almost 3 years ago.
We had NO idea.
That we had been lied to about her past,
 that she had the struggles she did, 
that we would all end up living in a constant state of hyper vigilance just fighting daily to survive.

We had no idea how hard it would be to love and to walk through endless hours of trauma
parenting and then be rejected and pushed away time after time after time.

We had no idea the toll this would take on my health,
physically and emotionally.

Last year during the summer at one point of trying yet another medication to try to control
my out of control pain from fibromyalgia I had a major MAJOR reaction to the medication.
The end result of being on that medication was that I gained 40lbs in about 2 weeks,
and along with that, my pain and in turn my depression grew worse.

There was a point last November
where I couldn't imagine carrying on anymore.

That was the breaking point of everything.
Our daughter had to leave our home for residential treatment,

I realized that I HAD to have help, more help than I was getting in that moment.
I began Neuro Feed Back Therapy
which has absolutely changed my life.

I was officially diagnosed with SEVERE PTSD and Clinical Depression.

Only a month of FeedBack therapy and my depression lifted
 and has only visited for a few hours at most since. 

My kids began to pour out every few weeks the things
 they had been bottling, hiding and living in fear about. 
Things came out all over the place at home and in therapy.

And bit by bit, little by little my family is returning to normal.
but not normal. Wiser, stronger, healed, and redeemed. 

Our daughter is still in residential, shortly to be moved into a treatment foster care situation;
prayerfully with a local private agency that I happen to work with through The Forgotten Initiative.

Easter, it's the MOST important celebration in my entire life; because it IS life
however;
it's also such a hard reminder that she has rejected God & she has rejected us.
She prefers to live in an institution over having a family that loves her.
That hurts
DEEP

But we keep praying.
My husband is a phenomenal man, 
and he keeps pouring all of his time with her into sharing Scripture with her. 
It's the focus of his visits and I admire him more than words could ever 
say for his passion to simply try to lead her to the one and only thing in this life that can 
save her from herself.

And so, because of these things;
the loss, the heartache, the PTSD, & anxiety, the healed depression,
the nearly healed fibromyalgia, 
the now functioning thyroid that was practically dead before,
the loss of about 36 lbs since last year

The regaining of health and delight in life
it's HUGE and I needed so much to have portraits of our family;
our family of amazing not only survivors but also thrivers.

We are going to be okay.

Yep, it was time for portraits.
enjoy... 
















3 comments:

  1. I love being able to see your family growing stronger together. And the smiles becoming more frequent again. Y'all are amazing. Love you guys so much!!!!

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  2. Oh Jasmine! Well done, friend. In every way. Tears over here...for all you've gone through, for the way God has carried you, for the hope ahead. I love how you contundue to love her, despite her rejection....SO like our Father. I love and admire you more than I can say. Praise God for the healing and hope He's bringing you guys, and the hope and healing she holds or to A. I love that Chris keeps on presenting that truth to her. Praying for the day to come soon when she gets it and grabs hold of her savior. Love you guys!

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  3. Wow! That is all that I can say. WOW! I'm so grateful to know you. I want to be a support for you... thank you for sharing your story. Gorgeous pictures

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