Both Explained AND Defined...

The only label I wear and wear proudly is that of a child of God.

I am a Christian and my life is in His hands.

It is my definition and it is my explanation.

It is all that I am and all that I wish to be

A child of the Great and Good Lord.

I would ask you... examine your heart dear friend

are you also a child of God?

Do you believe with your heart of hearts that He is good?

Over the past several years our family has been through so very much

and I have had to come right down to this question

Do I believe it? 

Truly, this what I confess to believe...

Do I REALLY believe and agree

"His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."?

I freely though sorrowfully admit that in the past few years I have wrestled,

struggled and fought 

at moments even doubted that He is truly working for my good,

there have been moments or even seasons when 

I have been angry or I have been indifferent..

But though every single moment of grappling

of straining and fighting to comprehend how He could truly love 

ME

one thing has not changed in my heart,

and that is that I trust Him.

I trust and know that my purpose in life, 

the only care I TRULY have in this world is that;

my every single breath is given to bring glory to 

my Lord in the life that HE has chosen for me.

I trust Him with it

I also trust Him with every emotion

and I know that my anger, fear and laughter are all

things that He has given me and He is a BIG God

who can handle them all and He is there when I cry out

ready to comfort my heart and soul with His love.

"The Lord your God is in your midst,

a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing."

~Zephaniah 3:17~

I have lived quite some time with chronic pain

My back is destroyed

I have several problems with it so that simply walking has for the 

past several years, but most especially for the past 6 months

been an excruciating experience...

truly, I have a very high pain tolerance

but being able to function had come to almost a stand still

I held it together by day and dissolved into tears and torture by night...

I thought often of David when he wrote:

"I am weary with my moaning;

every night I flood my bed with tears;

I drench my couch with my weeping.

My eye wastes away because of grief;

it grows weak because of all my foes."

~Psalm 6:6-7~

But yet, even if the grief and pain

I hold tight, I hold tight to my belief that my God is good.

That

"His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Almost a week ago I had a procedure done on my back

It won't fix my problems, for they are not fixable

but it will manage them and make me able to function again.

IF it worked

I can say with a slight apprehension that it appears to have worked

I am still incredibly sore from the actual procedure, 

but the pain I feel is different from the pain I was enduring daily

beforehand.

While I have been laid low resting and healing I found in my hands 

a precious little book which has been on my shelf for years but never

cracked open once.

"The children of Cloverly"

by, Hesba Stretton

This sweet little book is a gem, 

and over the past few days

 it has taken me on a journey with precious little Annie;

to ask me again.

Do I count it joy to do my Father's will?

Do I TRULY live out every single day?

"Your Kingdom come,

your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

I do... I so very truly do

even if I continue my life in great physical pain

I will count it joy to serve my Lord

and if I don't

I will count it joy to serve my Lord.

Do you count it a joy today? 

Do you TRULY trust His will to be done?

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears

and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

~Psalm 34:17-19~