Day of Beauty

So... sometimes kids do silly things... 

and that is just what happened this morning.

There was a haircut that took place without mommy's knowledge.

I fought crying and stayed strong and calm and eventually I decided;

once the point was made

that something like this is NEVER okay

 the only course of action was to head to an 

actual professional to try to clean things up.

So... we turned our mess into a day of Beauty...

Miss Chocolate Curls got a drastic haircut

 and we went ahead and got her ears pierced too! 

Princess Sunshine was not about to miss out on the fun so she got her very first corn rows! 

We then decided they looked much to gorgeous to let it pass by without a quick portrait session.

So we ran home and got some super cute summer dresses and...

TADA!

Princess Sparkles; only God can heal this

The weight we carry is far to much for us to bear alone;

I need Jesus

You need Jesus plain and simple

This blanket, my darling girl; it's a healing blanket

made by a woman who was hurt, for a girl who was hurt

for you

You can take this blanket with you

when you are away from us

and all you have to do is look at it's beauty and know

You CAN be healed

and you ARE loved.

You know the truth;

you know that Jesus loves you and died for you

you know that we love you, unconditionally and forever

You wear that on your finger every single day

and now you have a blanket to hold on to to remember how incredibly loved you are;

even if you don't want it, it's here.

I pray that one day you will break down those walls

that you've so carefully built around your heart

and be willing to open up and love, and be loved

to know how precious and dear you are to the Lord

to know that He wants nothing more than to 

help you know that through Him you can

dignify your life

No words other than; 

dignify

you've done it again and I know that this blanket will 

be cherished forever.

Sunshine gets BRAVE

 Once upon a time, there was a little girl... 

Her name is Princess Sunshine.

She is so very loved, so very cherished and is the littlest princess in the Kingdom.

 Though she had many protectors (lots of big brothers!)

 Princess Sunshine still has many fears things like; spiders, bees,  mommy not with her, anyone she didn't know talking to her and most especially being on her own to go to sleep every night. 

  Mommy was heartbroken to see her little Sunshine struggle so, 

then... Mommy had an idea. 

  A treasure was made, across the world, by another "girl" who had to find her bravery too, and so  Princess Sunshine discovers hers with her brand new (but not so new in the best way) 

dignify~ Fair Trade Kantha Quilt

handmade by an incredibly brave lady. 

(You must visit their site to see all about how and why these quilts are fashioned.)

  Mommy tells Sunshine how each stitch made this incredible lady somewhere far far away braver and braver to face all that is hard and scary.

 So that with all that bravery stitched into it, she too can face this sometimes 

scary world and be a strong and brave little lady always remembering that each moment of her life

Jesus is taking care of her, 

and He wants her to rest all her fears into HIM and He will make her brave! 

 I tell her how we will keep her bravery blanket close by so that when she needs to remember her bravery, it'll be right there to help her on her way...  

 Oh my Sunshine Princess, may you ALWAYS know you are safe and loved and so so brave. May this blanket always be a reminder to you that no matter how dark and difficult the trial, with your Lord taking care of you; you may always be brave

I must also point out, that while posing for her BRAVE girl pictures, 

Princess Sunshine is also wearing a headband from

  Banded

Banded works along side 

Amazima ministries

to provide meals to

those in desperate need in Uganda!

Be sure to check them out too!

They sparkle like stars...

So I thought their room should too... 

Big changes from the purple stripes and green diamonds!

To see the before, a fairly old before click below: 

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/171770173259827336/

The "flower box" was the window valance that hubby and I made our first baby about

15 years ago, it's been SEVERAL colors and is now being repurposed as a "window box" 

 The red blanket on the bed is just such a treasure and was purchased from: 

Dignify

The ballet barre was a gift from their biggest brother for Christmas,

he actually made it for them!

I just repainted an old mirror I had stored away in a closet for above.

Imagine my complete EXCITEMENT when I found these beautiful antique ballerinas at

Vintage Market and Design one day... 

How perfect they are for my little blossoming ballerina star!

I found this free printable here: 

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/171770173266196685/

Even the peg dolls got a fresh room makeover! 

 I created this light-switch cover by adhering sheet music to the boring plastic cover...

One of both Princess Chocolate Curl's and I's favorite items in the room, is her bunny

found at Vintage Market and Design

 Behind the dresser and curtain? 

why it's their playhouse of course!

Believe it or not, this project actually only cost me about $35.00 total, 

mainly because I used paint I already had in the garage and I didn't buy anything new except for the ballerinas, drawer knobs on the nightstand and the paper stars.

I just refinished things and repurposed them!

What do you think?

I think their faces say it all...

 Oh and the quilt was mine as a teen, so it is special and repurposed too!  

move forward Church...

I'm upset. 

Now, upset is putting it quite mildly. 

I'm upset with the way that our country as a whole cares for orphans

We generally suck.

Yep, I just said that.

Church, you have got to wake up;

you have got to step in and take the care of these precious fragile children back.

It's our job

Seriously, I hear all the time "well I just don't know how that would work"

Guess what; me either, 

but how about we stop scratching our heads and

figure it out

and do it before yet another child falls into state custody.

I get it, they try... sorta, but the truth is, they lie a lot too.

They don't believe in telling the truth, believe me... 

we've been there and we've been asked to lie. 

Thankfully the Lord interfered with the social workers best plans and 

prevented us from being expected to lie to our daughter.

But I still feel appalled that we were even asked to lie to her.

We need to really figure out from a biblical perspective HOW to reach out

to these hurting, traumatized children and show them 

REAL

unconditional love. 

Not just, hey you live here until you screw up to big; and then we'll move you again.

No, these kids need parents who are TRAINED, not warned and scared

but actually trained how to parent these kids

to understand the manipulation and lies and rages that comes from them

and meet them in a correct way to help these kids learn to heal.

Not this garbage of saying "well, it's not their fault" blah blah blah...

We HAVE got to prepare foster and adoptive families better church, 

we need to get our backsides into gear and support those who are called to adopt better.

Educate ourselves so that we too can see the manipulation and stand alongside

the families that have taken on a seemingly insurmountable task.

 it CAN be done, it just requires a whole lot of sacrifice on our part.

we have to give up the "american dream" so to speak, because life after trauma

is not an easy polished pretty picture on your wall.

It's hours upon hours; years upon years

 of agonizing and processing and repeating the same lessons

and forgiveness and love

over and over again with a huge possibility of no return ever.

But it's worth it...

Please Church, wake up, start taking this back over.

I'm not going to lie, it will be one of the hardest things you do

but redemption though costly bloody and ugly is the most beautiful thing in this entire world...

Remember, you've been redeemed through Christ...

now turn around and be 

His hands and feet the children who need to

be given the same? 

I don't have all the answers, but there ARE Christians out there who ARE figuring this out

need resources? 

Here are a few:

The Forgotten Initiative 

(which I am a coordinator for, so feel free to shoot any questions my way!) 

The Bair Foundation

Adoption Assistance Agency

Anything by Karyn Purvis is a great tool

Empowered to connect

I'm partway through reading a book that I also find helpful from a biblical perspective:

Parenting the Difficult Child

A biblical perspective on reactive attachment disorder

What is love?

I often have occasion hear from and read the frustrations of many foster and adoptive parents;

Many of them complain that they just can't feel the LOVE for this child who is rallying every

single last frustrating, disgusting and or dangerous behavior as a coping mechanism against them.

I totally get it

I do, but I guess I see love differently than most.

Love isn't warm fuzzy feelings, or incredible adoration for your child.

Love, true love is so much more than this;

I guess I see it as a commitment rather than an emotion

and if you commit yourself to act out love

eventually you WILL feel it too,

But it's just not always possible to conjure those type of "emotions". 

I look at the biblical definition of love and I don't see warm squishy there;

I just see actions and behaviors that should be mine in order to accurately display true love. 

 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up.  It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful.  It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends. 

~1 Corinthians 13:4-8~

Yep, not seeing "happy feelings" there.

The truth is, when you are loving even the most lovable person

I mean REALLY loving them

It's impossible to do, but it's important to keep fighting to do it and the only way

we can even imperfectly keep it up is through the Lord's strength.

Because the real truth is:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in any circumstance.  I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing.  I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me.

~Philippians 4:11-13

I want to love, I want to say I'm always patient with the difficult behaviors.

But truth is, I'm human, and fallen and sometimes

 I AM "easily angered" when the attack is SO personal and painful,

sometimes I feel "self serving" I'd seriously like just ONE day without _______ behavior.

Sometimes I catch myself constantly on guard and expecting the worst;

But the Lord asks that I would bear all things, believe all things, hope all things

yep even endure all things. 

OUCH!

But if my hope rests solely in Christ, who strengthens me

I CAN do all His holy will.

Including TRUELY love someone who is at times can be VERY difficult to love.

it's our job to believe it.

"I hate you, your not my mom and you love Chocolate Curls more than you love me."

 I stood in my tracks, frozen. It felt like someone had just slashed through my heart and cut to bits everything that I am. But it wasn't just someone, it was my daughter. My own child screaming at me and I was wounded beyond words. So deeply that I couldn't speak or breathe. This wasn't just a childish tantrum, the truth is, she believed what she said.

 I quietly directed the other kids to make their way back to the house, to which they all clung to me and began to cry. They didn't want to leave me on the mountain, but I couldn't come. It was obvious that she wasn't budging and the snow was beginning to fall. My babies needed to be safe inside the house with their big brothers.

 As they descended the mountain I quietly sat down and fought tears while my angry bitter child started stacking rocks and sticks and muttering to herself. I prayed hard, prayed like I'd never prayed. We were only days away from our court date and making her a legal part of our family, but my heart it had been sold out to her a full year before.

 I'd already been rejected, and I knew as I sat there with snowflakes swirling around me, I'd be rejected again as well. How does a child love and trust when she's never truly been loved and had only been taught that trust is something that is broken and foolish?

 We sat for what felt like an eternity and eventually we descended the mountain to the warmth of the house.  That day the same talk was had, that had already been had and would be had over and over again.

 You are loved, you can trust and I'm going to prove it... Being loved isn't based on how good you are, how clean you keep your room or on how you look. This love, we chose to give it to you, not for anything you can do or be, but because you are our daughter and we chose you.

 Over and over these words have been repeated in our home, and they will continue to be.

 Then, not to long ago I found myself on my knees. "Lord, I don't know why you put up with me, I continually blow it. How is it that you have entrusted these children to ME. I don't deserve them, I don't deserve any of this responsibility you've given me. I am not good enough!" Truth is, I believed what I said.

 Suddenly like a bolt of lightning, it struck me. I was that same child, chosen and adopted and wholly loved but refusing to believe it. Putting a knife in the heart of my Father.

 Instead of believing Him when He says I am washed white as snow, that I AM the pearl of great worth He sought out. That I am treasured and dearly loved I too was lying about the VERY heart of my God. How it must pierce Him to the core when His children reject the truth He has given them. That He sees us not as the mess that we are, but as His children, beautiful and perfect and covered by His one and only Son. That there is NOTHING that WE can do to make Him love us anymore, we can't earn it; it's just a gift, pure and simple.

 Today, remember who you are in Christ, you aren't the mess that you are in, you aren't the mistakes you are making... You are chosen and dearly loved.

 The Lord your God is in your midst;
he is a warrior who can deliver.
He takes great delight in you;
he renews you by his love;
he shouts for joy over you.”

~Zephaniah 3:17~ 

awareness...

There seems to be a trend within the special needs community online

and it really bothers me.

I see parents filming their children at their worst and sharing it on social media

or getting online and talking about it to the open world of Facebook.

Here is the thing that bothers me most about this;

It totally disrespects the child's privacy.

Would you want someone filming you falling apart?

Filming you just when you are at your lowest and then sharing it with the world?

I get it, parents need/want support.

There is nothing wrong with that need

but there is something 

SO

totally wrong about exploiting your child in order

to fill that need/want.

Venting to a few trusted people

is perfectly fine...

Sharing your child's struggles with the world

not... so... much....

Parents, please think before you raise "awareness" at your child's 

expense.

Explained but not defined...

Many labels lay within our home

labels aren't enemies, they are helpful explanations

But above all, those explanations do not define 

who and what we are.

They give us our starting point to become all that the Lord

has for us to become as lights shining for His glory in this fallen world.

I start afresh on a new blogging journey... 

On this new blog I will share with you

encouragement and examples from my own walk with the Lord

the every day REAL life of a wife and mom

who lives with Hashimotos thyroiditis causing hypothyroidism

and chronic back pain.

A mom to 7 kids

Some adopted, some biological

ALL my own 

A mom to some seriously special kiddos 

with Autism, Sensory processing Disorder and a variety

of other cognitive and learning disabilities.

We've struggled through, asthma, epilepsy and more...

A mom with a seriously tender heart who has learned

how to stand up and advocate.

oh and I am and an artist... 

Photography is my happy place.

Welcome to our new blog home

where I hope to share with you how every day we are being explained

but not defined by the diagnosis we've been given

Because our definition is this:

Therefore we have been buried with

 Him through baptism into death, 

so that as Christ was raised from the 

dead through the glory of the Father,

 so we too might walk in newness of life.

~Romans 6:4~